Feeling all the Feels

A few weeks ago, I was down in the dumps. I was seriously blah. I didn't like how I felt. I was depressed which isn't a state I'm used to being in. Anxiety? Sure. Anxiety, I am one with. I have a barrel of coping skills for anxiety, so much so that I don't feel as anxious as I used to. But depression  is different and in the past, I've always squashed it. Put on a smile and faked it til I had successfully locked the feeling away somewhere. Or picked up a bottle of wine to speed up the emotion erasing process.

But this time,  I handled it in a new way. I let myself feel the feelings. I took time to reflect on why I was feeling sad. I allowed the uncomfortableness in. I pondered why I was feeling so sad and determined it was a combination of things. First being like a kid the day after Christmas since we had just come home after an amazing weekend at my family's beach house in Maine. Along with preparing to send my big boy off to his first day of preschool and starting to plan my baby girl's second birthday. All things that are mostly happy, but a little sad, too.

By Wednesday afternoon, I felt I had worked through determining why I was sad and I was ready to feel better. So I doodled and I cooked while listening to music. Thursday morning, I felt so much better. And how can you not feel happy on Farmer's Market Day? Judah's favorite day of the week.

Up until this year, I've lived my life being scared of real feelings like sadness or anxiety. But I'm starting to embrace them. They're part of me, and they have a place. And they're okay. And if nothing else, I want this blog to be a place where I can help just one other person feel okay, too. Life isn't always easy and we live in a scary world. My life is messy, and seeing that my husband still loves me through all my quirks, has really helped me to feel like I can truly be me.

I'm also thankful that I have an amazing therapist who I genuinely look forward to seeing. And I've found that in this time where things are going somewhat smoothly, I am doing the best work with her. Just learning to accept all the parts of me.

Share your favorite pick-me-ups in the comments!